Saturday, December 24, 2011

His Love....did it fail?

                                                His Love....did it fail?

He was always unabashed when he spoke about his previous two attempts at a relationship,as he preferred to call them.The first had lasted 2 months and 21 days.The second had lasted 235 messages-"qualitatively" he would add with emphasis.
Yet,even before those attempts,between them and ofcourse after their failure,his mind constantly drifted to thinking about her.She had always been there-yet she was never really there.He removed his cell from his pocket and looked her name up in the phone-book.Weirdly he never wanted her contact picture.She wouldn't have minded-but he didn't want it.
He was always like this when it came to her.He could understand why-but couldn't explain it even to himself.He had never known her much,being from the same college.Yet there was her presence that he looked forward too everyday.Not that he would do much either.He would look at her for a couple of seconds.She would probably wave,if she noticed him and that would be all.Those moments lingered on in his mind probably a fraction more than others,but he looked forward to them each time-somehow hoping he wasn't hoping too much.

Finally two years earlier he had procured her phone number from a mutual friend on a day before her birthday.He had texted a happy birthday message.And she had replied a delighted reply-as though the message had meant a world to her.
From then on,her waves-he felt-had a more pronounced acknowledgement of his greeting.Her eyes indeed looked a lot more tender.Four years on and he had never wanted to look beyond(or below) her eyes.Such charm-he always remarked to himself.
He also noticed he never wanted to talk to her at length-quite contrary to the way he was with all other girls.Not that he was tongue-tied.But somehow he didn't want to find out more about her.He had heard her speak.Her voice was sweet and that was all he cared for.
Like any normal guy,he too dreamt about her.But then through the dreams they never spoke to each other.He would sit there looking into her eyes and that was all.

"Somehow,even in those dreams,when she was just a table across,I never even felt like holding her hand for a second"he said when we met a couple of years after college.
I raised my eyebrows.He looked rather offended."Ofcourse not! Don't you trust me?"he asked.
And at that moment I did trust him.
"So what happened to you after college?"Did you get a third girl hooked?"I asked mischievously.
"I never feel like it these days is all so redundant.All the compliments,the sweet talk,the expectation,the disappointment..Wish I had more courage with her.But then...I didn't want all that happening between us too.."
" never ever wanted to.. you know.. ask her out?"I probed.
"A couple of months earlier..I did muster enough courage..convincing myself that after two attempts it is time for the real thing and she would suit me perfectly.I called her up..and she had something to say too..that's why we're here right?"

We were at her engagement.No..not to my friend.But to a third person we didn't know.My friend smiled at me.There was no hint of disappointment at all.Was this that crap someone called unconditional love?Why didn't he just barge down the hall and declare his love?I  wondered.
The engagement concluded.It was time for us to present our gifts to the couple.My friend and I went up on stage.He congratulated the groom.He congratulated her too and gave her a bouquet.
She just said "Thank you".I was alert to observe the vibes.My friend looked deeply into her eyes and said everything he wanted to in a single look.She looked back,with a look that was as tender as ever-a sign that she had known it for ever.

We got off the stage.I couldn't resist myself. "So if yours is that true love thingy..why don't you just ask her..maybe you could stand next to her for an engagement soon!" I said a touch angry,a touch sad.
"You're right.I guess I truly love her"he said before adding in a profoundness much unlike him "which is probably why I don't want to stand next to her forever!" 

-23rd December 2011

This is my first attempt at a subject very different from what I generally write.Feel free to comment or let me know your views!