Monday, August 22, 2011

The Interview

The Interview

I sweated as I adjusted my tie in front of the mirror. God was I nervous!! I had stayed up all night trying to pore over material that could help me pass this particular interview.I had never really put so much of effort into grooming myself: the right shirt, the right pair of trousers, my striped tie,my formal shoes sparkling......and ofcourse, my hair had to be just the right size and yes my beard too!!!It was as though my entire life depended on this interview....and it did!!

I had never ever prayed to God with so much intent any time in my life...but I did it that day.....even prostrated before Him.I looked in the mirror..and tried to smile. It just wouldn't happen..I stretched my muscles.."Oops!! that was a hideous one" I thought and left it there.

On my way in a crowded early morning bus,I recollected how I had been the only contender for this job in the last 6 months.If there had been someone earlier,it was none of my business.The written test was tricky to say the least...prepare an expenditure plan for a household of 4 for a month,not exceeding rupees 20,000 given...and a list of conditions to follow!! It was stupid...20,000??!! for 4 people!!Outrageous,I had thought.But I had to plan...and I scraped through the test..

Then the telephonic interview came around...that voice on the other side asked the scales of 5 different raagas...I mean I wondered why he wouldn't ask programming(not that I was good with that either!!).I managed 3 right and guess what...I was through!!!

So today was the D-day.I got down from the bus and headed straight for my interviewers.I knocked on the room.A rough voice said"Enter!"There they were...the trio who would decide my destiny.Two ladies and a gentleman.One of the ladies was young,attractive and had been the inspiration behind me attempting for this job.But she had clearly told me that if I did not pass the interview,I would never get the job.I tried not looking at her(it was tough,mind you!).The other lady and the gentleman,both clearly in their 50s sat protectively on either side of her.

"So..what makes you opt for this job?"the gentleman began.I started thinking.There were a lot of reasons..but I could not tell all of them in front of him...

"I wanted to settle down...this was a permanent job"I ventured cautiously.I looked at the young lady..but she was looking at the gentleman.

"Any previous experience?"he asked.The girl gave me a piercing look.

"Hmm...nothing worth mentioning"only a part of which was true. The ladies looked pleased.I felt more confident.

He made notes."What do you know about our product...?"the older lady asked.I started off,having gone through the notes I had made for myself for an entire night.The girl had told me everything I needed to know over the last couple of years..and specially since the time I had been in contention for the job.After I finished with my 10 minute lecture on the product,she looked impressed.But not the old man.

"Sing the raaga Kalyaani for me!!"he commanded.This was apparently his favourite..and I could pass the interview only if he felt I managed to sing it to his satisfaction.He was now digging his nose..not exactly inspiring.I shifted my gaze to the girl,who didn't mind my looking at her now..and started singing.I put all my knowledge and did sing in a way that would have my Guru proud.At the end of ten minutes,the gentleman merely beckoned me to stop.I heaved a sigh.

There was dead silence for may be ten minutes(could have been twenty..could have been just five..I really had lost track!!).I thought the interview was finally over.The gentleman would declare the result any moment...but he merely asked me

"If you were to take care of our product,how do you see the future?"

I took a deep breath and replied with all sincerity(real and fake) "Your product would continue to get better..and would be treated with a lot of respect and concern.It will be given top priority with its adequate maintenance being uppermost in my mind".I waited with bated breath..

"You are appointed!!" the gentleman declared with a uncharacteristically huge smile, after five
minutes of who-would-blink-first.The ladies burst into characteristic happy tears.

So much went into wooing your prospective in-laws!! Hopefully each of us gets to woo only one pair of them in a lifetime!!

P.S.: bad alignment in the first two paragraphs...Blogger's problems!!